I had to do this math thing so I Google “calculator” and the fourth hit is the “Love Calculator.” So, of course I went to the site. The test is simple, you type in the first names of the two people and you get a percentage “prediction” on whether or not your relationship will work out.

So I type in our names, “Penelope” then “Pablo” and I get back 44%. That sucks. The message I get with it, the “advice,” says that relationships are work blah blah blah. So I switched “Penelope” to “Penny.” 54%. Hmmm.

I, of course, started punching in the names of couples I know, and most of the results come back in the 25% to 50 % range, and the same message about how you have to work hard at your relationship.

So I start trying to make the best couple, thinking of what names would be most compatible, who had the best future prospects. Dick and Jane. 13%. Diana and Charles. 24%. Camilla and Charles. 44%. Jacob and Emily. (The two most popular baby names in 2004.) 54%. Bill and Dave. 66%.

Far and away, the best couple I could make?

Moises and Eva. 93%.

Penny and I were watching some wedding “reality” show (like, for two minutes) and they were showing the wedding, (after all the drama…I use the term loosely) and we both commented on the kiss…how lame it was. (Penny and I kiss with more emotion when one of us leaves the room to get some water.) And that led us to talk about our “kiss.” I’m sure there’s some sort of etiquette (not to long or short, no tongue) but it seems that common sense would prevail.

Our wedding kiss will be the most photographed kiss of our lives; maybe the most photographed single moment of our lives.

Every kiss before the wedding has paved the way to this one. Every kiss after the wedding will be compared to it. It’s the one that seals the deal. Who knew such a small thing could carry so much metaphorical weight?

Today would have been Pop's 75th birthday. 

Penny and I took a huge step forward in our relationship today. We bought cell phones together. That’s right – we’re now on a “Family Plan.” It’s been said that you don’t recognize the most important times in your life as they are happening…but I want to acknowledge to the world that I now know what it feels like to share everything with another person. Cell phones; what could be bigger than that?

But seriously…we had our first meeting about the wedding. We met with Chef O and discussed some of the basics of what we want our party to be like. Some of the best times in most our lives revolve around family and food: holiday dinners, summer barbecues, picnics…and we want to have those same feelings at our reception.

It’s probably asking too much that a wedding reception be indicative of what we want our life together to be like. What’s an appropriate metaphor when you want everyone to know that you recognize the traditions that make you happy, while indicating how you want your life together to feel? What does our choice of side dishes say about our love?

We want everyone to be comfortable. We want everyone to be full. We just aren’t sure if we want a big cake or cupcakes. No one said this was going to be easy.

 

Thanks to Ed for the pics from our engagement. 

The Ring. It's probably appropriate that one of the scarier movies lately is called "The Ring." And no, it's not about getting married.

This is the ring my dad gave my mom.

They were married 'till death parted them.

I asked Penny to marry me from the stage, but what I told her when we were away from the mic went something like this:

"You know my dad was the most important influence in my life. The best person I've ever known (and sadly, not everyone can say that about their dad). He had the greatest sense of integrity of anyone I've ever met and when he made a promise it was a guarantee. When my dad gave my mom this ring he told her he would love her and be there for her forever. And I'm making that same promise to you."

Today is the sixth anniversary of the passing of my dad. Naturally, this week brings out in me a little bit of introspection. I was riding the bus home at 3:00 in the morning, watching out the window as it continued to rain as it has been for hours, thinking that my dad used to be the guy driving this bus. I don’t mean that metaphorically. Pop used to drive the #22 Clark bus, sometimes overnight. He did overnights on Sheridan also, where, he told me once, he figured out that you have to drive exactly 28 miles per hour (and not have anyone wanting to get on or off) to catch every light.

I didn’t look at the driver (was I afraid I’d see a ghost?) but I wondered about generations…parent to child…and how much better off am I than my dad? When he was my age he’d had three sons, had lived in three countries on three continents and had to escape Nazis (at the age of 4) and Fascists (at the age of 34).

So at least I can say I win points for having a level of stability.
But I get annoyed when my shoes get wet. I have to give him points for toughness.

All this (and soooo much more that I won’t go in to) runs through my head and I think of the future…my future…our future (Penny and I), and I wonder if, no matter how hard I work, my son will be riding the bus home at three in the morning from a job he’s over-qualified for (no one cares about my masters degree on the 3:00 am bus) wondering if his dad would be proud of him or not.

In memorium.

10.24.05 

 

So the "save-the-dates" are finally in the mail. I never would have guessed that people needed to send out notices informing their friends that invitations are pending. It seems redundant...like a duvet cover. Do blankets really need blankets?

One of the cooler things Penny noticed is the number of places we sent invites to: Arizona, California, Oregon, Wisconsin, New York, Florida, Virginia, Alaska, New Mexico, Alabama, Michigan and of course Chicago. We also sent invites to Australia and England.

It's been said that you learn something new every day (I wonder how many things you forget every day), and today I learned that 50-cent stamps are not self-adhesive.

57 stamps.
57 envelopes.
No sponge.

Backstage at the United Center for U2, 9.21.05. This was our first engagement present, given to us by Rab and Rachel.