I’ve found that most people like to paint the world in broad strokes: good and evil, liberal and conservative, Cubs fans and Sox fans. To these people, there is very little nuance in the world.

These people keep telling me having a baby is similar to having a puppy.

Ha

They're about as similar as a roller coaster and a Shuttle launch.

One experience fills you with nervous excitement, the other requires you to wear a diaper because you’re likely to shit your pants.

When Finley was 8 weeks old he was weaned. We’ll be lucky if Jack will be weaned (metaphorically speaking) at 18 years.

In his first four months of life Finley has learned where he can go to the bathroom (and just as importantly, where he can’t go to the bathroom), how to climb onto the couch, and he plays fetch (when he’s in the mood) like a pro. He knows how to sit, lie down, and where the park is. He’s learned that ‘leave it’ means he shouldn’t put it (stick, sock, the insole to Penny’s shoe) in his mouth, at what time he eats breakfast, lunch and dinner, and he’s figured out that when we leave the house it’s ok, and we’ll be back relatively soon.

In Jack’s first four months we’ll be lucky if he learns how to keep his head up.

There’s really no accurate (or rational) comparison.

It’s the difference between a kite and an F-15, between a goldfish and a nuclear submarine, between my paycheck and Bill Gates’.

I don’t have to watch my language around Fin. He’ll never have to be taught how to read, drive, not get his girlfriend pregnant (someone tell me again why it’s ok to neuter your dog and not your son).

When Finley is old and grey and can’t climb onto the couch by himself anymore, Jack will barely be old enough to take his driver’s license test (and his younger sibling will be getting ready to enter high school).

Fin is happy with a scratch behind the ears and a nickel-sized hunk of dog biscuit. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure kids need a little more affection and attention than that.

There are some similarities. They are both mammals. They will both live in our house for the foreseeable future. They both require that I continue to be gainfully employed.

I guess the devil is in the details after all.