I had a moment today that gave me pause, a sensation, I realized milliseconds after it had happened, I hadn't experienced in a while. Lately I've been walking around with my head down, either overly-focused or totally foggy. I hadn't even realized I'd been missing them; those moments that literally make you stop whatever it is you're doing and realize...what?
That there's a bigger picture? (Not to say that there's a big "Photographer.")
That we shouldn't let the details go unnoticed? (Lame.)
Life is too short? (Please.)

Clarity of Purpose. I don't mean an abstract, (and frankly, ridiculous) "I know I've been put here for a reason" sort of purpose. But a more a pragmatic, "What am I going to do now that I am here" sort of purpose.

I've been working nights again (good ol' bartendin'...always there for you when you really need the cash). I'm not getting home as late as the last gig when I was schlumping up the stairs to our apartment at 3:00 am three times a week, followed by a 10 am opening shift every Thursday. Now I'm home four nights a week sometime between 11 pm and midnight. Tonight I got home at 1:30 in the morning, three hours later than I had expected.

I was tired, and still a little wired, and more than a little annoyed at myself for even being in this situation. I took off my coat and turned to hang it up, when I looked down and saw Penny's and Jack's shoes just inside the door. They're not super expensive or trendy. They're not in front of a fire place decked out in full holiday regalia. This is not a J. Crew catalog. There was really no reason for me to notice them; Jack's little brown tennis shoes in the corner, each facing in opposite directions, the way a toddler would arrange them, or a parent would toss them. They looked all the more doll-like next to Penny's shaggy slip ons., one of which was tipped over in an almost choreographed way. Just two pairs of shoes. It stopped me solid as granite. The first 17 months of Jack's life have been filled with nearly overwhelming emotions, and they came to me all at once, in a burst that literally made me stop breathing.

Most people spend their entire life looking for moments that will give them clarity. They pray and starve themselves, they drug and poison and punish their bodies searching out these earth-shattering, miraculous moments that will leave them with no doubt. They look to the heavens and they seek out prophets. They look for signs and omens and secret patterns in words and numbers (as if the words and numbers themselves could not possibly hold the answers).

I'm no guru, by here's my advice: Open your eyes. You'll be impressed by how revealing and inspiring the ordinary, real world can be.